别等了 - Don't Wait

别等了，想做什么要趁早因为我们并不知道自己还有多少个明天。

Don't wait, do as your heart desires now because we don't know how many tomorrows we have.

Joke's Corner - First Child

His wife was going into labour, and a man dialed 911 in a panic. When the dispatcher came on the line, he cried, "My wife is having a baby. Her contractions are only two minutes apart. What am I supposed to do?"
The dispatcher said, "Calm down, sir. Is this her first child?"
"No," the frantic man replied.
"This is her husband!"

- Anonymous, RD -

Joke's Corner - The Partner

  Having successfully passed all the written exams and physical requirements to join the Royal Canadian Mounted Police, my daughter was now being interviewed. One of the questions was, "What would you do if you were out on patrol with a male officer and he drove to a secluded area and started making advances to you?"
My daughter didn't hesitate, "Is this before or after I'm issued a pistol?" she replied. She's now a Mountie.

-  Floyd Kelly, RD -

Never Give Up

Joke's Corner - The Dog On His Own.

    In his younger days our golden retriever, Catcher, often ran away when he had the chance. His veterinarian's office was about a mile down the road, and Catcher would usually end up there. The office staff knew him very well and would call me to come pick him up.
    One day I called the vet to make an appointment for Catcher's yearly vaccine. "Will you be bringing him?" asked the receptionist. "Or will he be coming on his own?"

- Laura Staszak, RD -

Joke's Corner - Keep The Mouth Open

This couple was heading to the hospital with their 16-year-old daughter, who was scheduled to undergo a tonsillectomy. 
During the ride they talked about the procedure.
"Dad," the teenage asked, "how are they going to keep my mouth open during surgery?"
Without hesitation her father quipped, "They're going to give you a phone."

- Kingsley Colaco, RD -

Joke's Corner - The Piano & Clarinet

My mom had always wanted to learn to play the piano, so dad bought her one for her birthday. A few weeks later, I called and asked how she was doing. 
"We returned the piano," said Dad. "I persuaded her to switch to a clarinet."
"Why?" I asked.
"Because," he explained, "with a clarinet, she can't sing along."

- Don Foster, RD -

Joke's Corner - Drive And Phone

While on the freeway in Los Angeles, I was behind a pack of cars. The last driver was on the phone and drifting all over the road. This did not escape the attention of a California Highway Patrol Officer, who snuck up behind her and said over his loud speaker, "If you cant's stay in your lane while on the phone, pull over until the call is completed."

Immediately eight cars pulled over.

- Greg Ash, RD -

Joke's Corner - The Oldest Thing

My 12-year-old daughter asked me, "Mom, do you have a baby picture of yourself? I need it for a school project." I gave her one without thinking to aks what the project was.

A few days later I was in her classroom for a parent-teacher meeting when I noticed my face pinned to a mural the students had created. The title of their project was "The oldest thing in my house."

- Aimee Kent, RD -

Joker's Corner - Goin' Under The Knife

I hate the idea of going under the knife. So I was very upset when the doctor told me I needed a tonsillectomy. Later, the nurse and I were filling out an admission form. I tried to respond to the questions, but I was so nervous I couldn't speak. The nurse put down the form, took my hands in hers and said, "Don't worry. This medical problem can easily be fixed, and it's not a dangerous procedure."

"You're right. I'm being silly," I said, feeling relieved. "Please continue."
"Good. Now," the nurse went on, "do you have a living well?"

- Edward Lee Griffin, RD -