His wife was going into labour, and a man dialed 911 in a panic. When the dispatcher came on the line, he cried, "My wife is having a baby. Her contractions are only two minutes apart. What am I supposed to do?"
The dispatcher said, "Calm down, sir. Is this her first child?"
"No," the frantic man replied.
"This is her husband!"
Having successfully passed all the written exams and physical requirements to join the Royal Canadian Mounted Police, my daughter was now being interviewed. One of the questions was, "What would you do if you were out on patrol with a male officer and he drove to a secluded area and started making advances to you?"
My daughter didn't hesitate, "Is this before or after I'm issued a pistol?" she replied. She's now a Mountie.